Funetiks is a friendlier, more intelligent design, spoken by the Ants of Iknor, who work for the Alfa Bats in the Kozmik Kafe. Sun Ants are happy singing waiters. Kon Sun Ants are service providers in other areas, while WizKon Sun Ants perform cheezy wizardry in the kitchen.
This approach offers a way to make fun of a poorly constructed language, rather than humiliating and failing people of all ages who attempt to make sense of it.
An alphabet is designed to visually represent about forty spoken sounds ("phonemes"). Unfortunately, there are 6900 world alphabets that represent those same sounds.
English suffers from over 200 exceptions to its own rules and twenty fallacies of logic, the most ridiculous being "silent letters." It is the worst design of the 6900, except for Chinese. We do not communicate well because of this. About five percent of Americans choose to read books and only twelve percent read anything at all. Forty percent are still illiterate. We simply don't like the medium.
FIVE RULES OF FUNETIKS
1- There are no silent letters.
2- There is no Q, no X and no C
(unless the word is cheezy.)
3- Spell a word the way it sounds.
4- Sownd a werd da way it spelz.
5- Trust no one that spells
Funetiks with a P, H and C.